Is your soldier deploying soon?
You may not believe the news, often asking your soldier, “You don’t really have to go, do you?” Or, “Can’t you just break your leg and stay home?” You might also be anticipating the loss that will come from your soldier’s absence. How will you deal with the kids missing their mother or father? Will you stay near the base or go back home? Can your relationship survive another year apart?
While you are thinking those thoughts, your soldier might be getting excited – or angry about deploying as well. They are often spending time away from home for increased training and preparation. This is very important for the success of their new mission, but it can create conflict at home and already increase the emotional distance between family members.
One of the most important things to do during this time is to get your affairs in order. Make sure you know where the important paperwork is, when the next doctor appointment is, when to get an oil change for the car, etc. Getting this information together and planning ahead will help you very much in the future! You will thank yourself later for being so responsible. Click on the National Military Family Association for their checklist.
Don’t be scared or worried if you have an argument or two. It is natural and many families experience this, as deploying for a long time is a very stressful situation for everyone.
Here are some resources to help you understand the deployment cycle and things to prepare for:
Army Behavioral Health – Families
Army Behavioral Health – Pre Deployment
National Military Family Association – Deployment and You
Military Spouse Resource List for Deployments
Do you need more information or education about deployment?
Operation READY was established to provide Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leaders, Commanders, Chaplains, and others involved with family readiness the tools to help navigate the deployment cycle, from pre-deployment preparation to reunion training. They can even help with strategies to cope with separation!
Some of the Family Readiness Trainings include FRG Leader Training, Key Caller, and Care Team Training – which deals with how to assist family members immediately following the notification of a serious incident. Some of the Soldier and Family Workshops are Informal Funds Training, Deployment Briefings, BATTLEMIND Pre-Deployment, BATTLEMIND Post-Deployment, Reunion and Homecoming Trainings, and Coping with Separation Workshops. They are located at the Army Community Services Building on Fort Drum. The phone number is (315) 772-0470. Check out their brochure here.
Operation: Military Kids is another great resource that offers training in Jefferson County. This program is part of the 4-H / Army Youth Development Project and support children and youth impacted by deployment. Through a network of community partners, OMK provides youth program opportunities for school age, middle school and teenaged youth and connects them to support resources where they live.
Some of the trainings they offer include the Junior Deployment Briefing – which prepares 1st through 12th graders for their parent’s impending deployment, assistance in providing deployment support for FRG meetings, and a Mobile Technology Lab that helps to connect soldiers with their families. You can also request professional development trainings including: Ready, Set, Go! which focuses on the unique issues facing military youth who are dealing with the deployment or reintegration with a loved one. Operation: Boots On and Operation: Boots Off also teaches youth about the deployment cycle, reunion and reintegration process. Call the NYS 4-H Military Liaison at (315)788-8450 if you would like to participate or schedule a training for your group. Check out their brochure here.
Do you or a family member need counseling or more intensive mental health care to get you through this difficult time?
Family Counseling Services offers individual and group counseling for just this! Cool Kids I is a Deployment Survival Skills Program that is for children 6-11 years old. The goal is to help children cope with difficult emotions that deployments can generate by offering children a supportive, safe environment where they can express their feelings and not feel alone. There is also Cool Kids II which helps children control their anger using video games! They will learn to express their feelings in healthy ways and not have angry outbursts. Give the Family Counseling Services a call at (315) 782-4483 to find out how to set-up an intake or for more information about these groups or the others they offer – for kids or adults.
The Children’s Clinic also staffs Mental Health Providers in a few Watertown schools and in their clinic on Arsenal Street in Watertown. If your child is a regular patient at the clinic or attends one of the schools, you might be able to receive individual therapy for the child or family counseling.
The Watertown YMCA offers programs for families in the Armed Services including Opeartion Kid Comfot and two hours of free childcare once per week for spouses of deployed military. They also have an Operation Hero program which is a 10 week program designed for children who are experiencing difficulty in schools due to frequent moves or family disruption due to deployment. Call (315) 755-2016 for more information.
The Mental Health Association in Jefferson County is also developing a new support group for military families or deployed personnel. Call them at (315) 788-0970 for more information about the schedule.
The Samaritan Medical Center also has many Behavioral Health Services including an Inpatient Mental Health Unit, an Outpatient Mental Health Unit, and an Addiction Services Unit. Call them at (315)779-5060 for an appointment or for further information, click on Samaritan Behavioral Health Services.
If you just want extra support about how to parent better during a deployment, or in any circumstance, the Cornell Cooperative Extension of Jefferson County has a parenting program run by staff trained in child development and family life education that is held in the classroom, individual, and in-home settings. There are also a variety of other programs at the Cornell Cooperative Extension of Jefferson County that could help too. Look up their website or call them at (315)788-8450.
For those that want help on Fort Drum: don’t forget about the Social Work Services on base or visiting your Chaplain. There is also a Stress Management and Anger Management workshop given by the one of the Family Advocacy Educators on Fort Drum. Call Greg Auffrey at (315) 772-2279 for more information.
The Military and Family Life Consultant Program can provide short term, problem solving services to soldiers and their families, with services being provided on or off of Fort Drum. They are especially trained to help military families and work closely with the programs already in place at Fort Drum. You can reach them at (315) 212-6919.
Remember: You are not alone and many other military families experience the same feelings and emotions. Do not be afraid to ask for additional support during this time.