Did your soldier just return home?
Congratulations! You and your family made it through a very difficult and trying time. This time of reunion and reintegration can be such a relief, but many times, families can also experience difficulty when a member was absent for so long. If your soldier’s homecoming is not as smooth as you would have thought it would be – do not worry. You are not alone. This stage of adjustment can last from three to six months.
Typically, there is a “honeymoon” period after the soldier arrives home. A couple can reunite physically, but it can take a lot longer to reunite emotionally. Some spouses can be awkward, nervous, excited, or anxious during this time. The soldier might be feeling the same way and is questioning his or her place in the family. Spouses also might feel like they have lost their independence or feel resentment when the soldier returned. Children can also have a difficult time during the reunion. Their feelings and actions can largely depend on how old they are.
When should you get help?
There is always a period of adjustment after a soldier returns home. However, if problems persist for a long time, it might mean you should seek help. If you or your family member feel sad, hopeless, or have a lack of interest in activities for longer than two weeks, you might be experiencing depression. You could also feel extremely stressful or afraid after a reunion. If it lasts longer than a few weeks, you should seek help. Other warning signs include flashbacks, frequent nightmares, alcohol or drug abuse, and domestic violence or abuse. Do not be afraid to seek help during this time. Many of these problems can be overcome with the correct treatment and support.
Here are links to help you understand more about post-deployment and mental health:
Courage to Care Fact Sheet: Reuniting With Your Loved One
Courage to Care Fact Sheet: Becoming a Couple Again
Army Behavioral Health – Post-Deployment Information
Mental Health Self-Assessment Program
Real Warriors – Real Strength Program
Veteran’s Affairs: Returning from the War Zone - A Guide for Families of Military Members
Veteran’s Affairs: Returning from the War Zone – A Guide for Military Personnel
Do you need more information or education about post-deployment?
Operation READY was established to provide Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leaders, Commanders, Chaplains, and others involved with family readiness the tools to help navigate the deployment cycle, from pre-deployment preparation to reunion training. They can even help with strategies to cope with separation!
Some of the Family Readiness Trainings include FRG Leader Training, Key Caller, and Care Team Training – which deals with how to assist family members immediately following the notification of a serious incident. Some of the Soldier and Family Workshops are Informal Funds Training, Deployment Briefings, BATTLEMIND Pre-Deployment, BATTLEMIND Post-Deployment, Reunion and Homecoming Trainings, and Coping with Separation Workshops. They are located at the Army Community Services Building on Fort Drum. The phone number is (315) 772-0470.
Operation: Military Kids is another great resource that offers training in Jefferson County. This program is part of the 4-H / Army Youth Development Project and support children and youth impacted by deployment. Through a network of community partners, OMK provides youth program opportunities for school age, middle school and teenaged youth and connects them to support resources where they live.
Some of the trainings they offer include the Junior Deployment Briefing – which prepares 1st through 12th graders for their parent’s impending deployment, assistance in providing deployment support for FRG meetings, and a Mobile Technology Lab that helps to connect soldiers with their families. You can also request professional development trainings including: Ready, Set, Go! which focuses on the unique issues facing military youth who are dealing with the deployment or reintegration with a loved one. Operation: Boots On and Operation: Boots Off also teaches youth about the deployment cycle, reunion and reintegration process. Call the NYS 4-H Military Liaison at (315)788-8450 if you would like to participate or schedule a training for your group.
Do you or a family member need more counseling or intensive mental health care?
There are many resources in Jefferson County for families that need more care after a deployment.
Family Counseling Services can provide individual and family counseling services for a variety of issues including domestic violence or deployment related concerns. Call them at (315) 782-4483 for more information or to set up an in-take. They accept TRICARE, other private insurances, and use a sliding fee scale.
The Watertown Vet Center, located at 210 Court Street in Watertown, also offers a wide variety of services and can help in the readjustment process. Their services include:
- Military Sexual Trauma Counseling, Bereavement Counseling
- Individual Counseling
- Group Counseling
- Marital/Family Counseling
- Couples/Partner Relationship Counseling
- Alcohol/Drug Assessment and Referral
- Benefits Assistance and Referral
- Job Referral
- Employment Counseling
- Community Education
- Plus many more!
Some of the group therapy options include: the Couple’s Communication and Martial Enhancement Group that is currently being offered every Thursday from 6-8 PM at the Vet Center. There is also an OEF/OIF Traumatic Growth Group that uses Cognitive Processing Therapy for war related trauma, including PTSD. This group is offered on Tuesdays from 2-4 pm. Finally, there is a Bereavement Group for all spouses that have lose a loved one that takes place on Wednesdays from 3:30-4:30. Call the Watertown Vet Center toll free at 1-866-610-0368.
The Samaritan Medical Center also has many Behavioral Health Services including an Inpatient Mental Health Unit, an Outpatient Mental Health Unit, and an Addiction Services Unit. Call them at (315)779-5060 for an appointment or for further information, click on Samaritan Behavioral Health Services.
Social Work Services, your Chaplain, or Army Community Services on Fort Drum can also provide counseling for individuals or families about many issues related to post-deployment concerns. The Military and Family Life Consultant Program can also provide short term, problem solving services to soldiers and their families, with services being provided on or off of Fort Drum. They are especially trained to help military families and work closely with the programs already in place at Fort Drum. You can reach them at (315) 212-6919.
Where should your soldier get mental health care?
Your soldier can get care on Fort Drum from the Mental Health Services department. There is also a clinic at 165 Coleman Avenue in Watertown that has trained professionals to see soldiers and soon their family members. It is a joint venture between the Samaritan Medical Center and Fort Drum Behavioral Health Department. Call them at (315) 782-2061 for an appointment or more information about the services they offer.