Grief is a response to loss and usually includes feelings of sadness.
Grieving is the process of adjustment after a loss. It is also called bereavement.
What are the stages of the grieving process?
There are five stages of the grieving process that people go through after a loss. Sometimes, people go through all five stages, sometimes people can skip stages, and sometimes people can jump back and forth between stages. Knowing what to expect can help you through the grieving process.
Shock and Denial: You cannot believe that a person has or is going to die. You have a feeling of disbelief that can protect you from the full effect of hearing the news before you are able to accept it.
Anger: You can become very angry at the loss. You might blame others, yourself, or even the person for your loss. Sometimes you are just easily irritated or frustrated with other people. Anger is one way of hiding your pain when you cannot or do not want to deal with the loss.
Bargaining and Guilt: Although there is little chance of changing the outcome, some people try to bargain for different news or a recovery. You might make promises to yourself, to the doctors, or God to change the situation. Some people also feel like if they did something different, the person would still be alive.
Depression: When you realize that a person is gone, you can feel very sad. You might cry a lot too. When you feel like this, it means that you are near the end of the grief process.
Acceptance: Finally, you may begin to feel a sense of peace about the loss. You can still feel sad, but you have begun to move on in your own life.
How do you cope with loss? There are a few things you can do to help ease the pain during this difficult time. A few tips are:
- Being patient with yourself
- Take care of yourself and your health
- Stay in touch with others that care about you
- Join a support group
- Think of ways to honor your loved one
Loss of Life and the Military
Survivor Outreach Services (SOS) connects you with people who can help you cope with your loss. They also run a monthly bereavement group at Army Community Services on Fort Drum. Their phone number is (315)-772-6357.
The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is a special program designed for friends and family who have lost their soldier. This program can set a survivor up with grief support services and help you navigate your benefits.
Bereavement Support in Jefferson County
The Watertown Vet Center also offers a Bereavement Group for military spouses who have lost their loved ones. Topics covered include the process of grief and the unique experiences a military widow may have. The group is offered twice a week at 210 Court Street in Watertown. Call (315)-782-5479 for exact days and times.
The Hospice of Jefferson County also provides a wide variety of support groups for those who have lost loved ones. Click here for a list. Their phone number is (315) 788-7323.
Links for General Information about Grief or Loss of Life
Network of Care – Grief
Mayo Clinic – Coping with Grief
American Cancer Society – Coping with Grief and Loss
Links for Information about Grief or Loss of Life and the Military
Military One Source – Coping with Grief and Loss
Operation Healthy Reunions – Bereavement and Grief
DoD – A Survivor’s Guide to Benefits
Talk, Listen, Connect- When Families Grieve by Sesame Street
Military Child Education Coalition – Living in the New Normal: Supporting Child through Trauma and Loss
National Child Traumatic Stress Network – Military Children and Families
Source: Coping with Grief and Loss. Military One Source